Comments on: the advent box http://patriciazaballos.com/2008/12/05/the-advent-box/ where a mother tries to cultivate creativity and a sense of wonder in her kids—and does a whole lot of wondering herself in the process Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:57:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: wonderfarm · atwitter: december http://patriciazaballos.com/2008/12/05/the-advent-box/comment-page-1/#comment-3191 wonderfarm · atwitter: december Wed, 15 Dec 2010 05:48:03 +0000 http://patriciazaballos.com/?p=622#comment-3191 [...] the halls: The advent wreath is aglow with three candles at this point in the season, but our advent box could use some more slips. (Either we all need to work harder at sharing our light, or we need to [...] [...] the halls: The advent wreath is aglow with three candles at this point in the season, but our advent box could use some more slips. (Either we all need to work harder at sharing our light, or we need to [...]

]]> By: patricia http://patriciazaballos.com/2008/12/05/the-advent-box/comment-page-1/#comment-216 patricia Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:15:52 +0000 http://patriciazaballos.com/?p=622#comment-216 Thanks for stopping by the blog, Jennifer! And thanks for helping me consider complaining from another angle. I see your point about women historically suffering in silence and not being able to do anything about it. I'm definitely not one to promote suffering in silence! For myself, it isn't that I want to keep my frustrations bottled up: I'm just trying to work on the semantics and the delivery. For example, instead of wandering through my kitchen muttering, "This place is such a mess. I wish everyone would pick up their stuff!" as I'm afraid I'm wont to do, I might say instead, in a kind, unmuttery voice, "Lulu, would you please take your pile of stuff upstairs this afternoon?" That turns a complaint into a respectful request. And guess what: the respectful request from the happy mom gets faster results than the muttered complaint! That said, sometimes I *am* working on just keeping the frustrations inside. Do my kids need to hear me grumble at the car in front of me which is moving like a slug because the driver is talking on his cell phone? I don't think so, but I grumble like that all the time. But since Advent I've been trying to keep it in check. And whenever I keep one of those comments inside, I feel good! Despite the slug in front of me! Or maybe even because of the slug in front of me! And again, my kids get a happier mom. Which is precisely the sort of light I'm trying to share. It's hard--I have a lot of Grinch in me too. But I'm really enjoying the challenge. Thanks for stopping by the blog, Jennifer!

And thanks for helping me consider complaining from another angle. I see your point about women historically suffering in silence and not being able to do anything about it. I’m definitely not one to promote suffering in silence!

For myself, it isn’t that I want to keep my frustrations bottled up: I’m just trying to work on the semantics and the delivery. For example, instead of wandering through my kitchen muttering, “This place is such a mess. I wish everyone would pick up their stuff!” as I’m afraid I’m wont to do, I might say instead, in a kind, unmuttery voice, “Lulu, would you please take your pile of stuff upstairs this afternoon?” That turns a complaint into a respectful request. And guess what: the respectful request from the happy mom gets faster results than the muttered complaint!

That said, sometimes I *am* working on just keeping the frustrations inside. Do my kids need to hear me grumble at the car in front of me which is moving like a slug because the driver is talking on his cell phone? I don’t think so, but I grumble like that all the time. But since Advent I’ve been trying to keep it in check. And whenever I keep one of those comments inside, I feel good! Despite the slug in front of me! Or maybe even because of the slug in front of me! And again, my kids get a happier mom. Which is precisely the sort of light I’m trying to share.

It’s hard–I have a lot of Grinch in me too. But I’m really enjoying the challenge.

]]> By: Jennifer http://patriciazaballos.com/2008/12/05/the-advent-box/comment-page-1/#comment-215 Jennifer Tue, 09 Dec 2008 17:06:50 +0000 http://patriciazaballos.com/?p=622#comment-215 In defense of complaining, from a long line of complainers -- I've come to think of complaining as a symptom, not a syndrome. Treating the symptom may not help with the underlying disease. Aren't we women historically very good at not complaining? When we complain, about, say, the domestic burdens we bear, or the responsibility of homeschooling our kids because the public schools don't offer what we want -- maybe we push for change. That said, the Advent box is lovely. I love advent. Even when I am a complaining Grinch. :) In defense of complaining, from a long line of complainers — I’ve come to think of complaining as a symptom, not a syndrome. Treating the symptom may not help with the underlying disease. Aren’t we women historically very good at not complaining? When we complain, about, say, the domestic burdens we bear, or the responsibility of homeschooling our kids because the public schools don’t offer what we want — maybe we push for change.

That said, the Advent box is lovely. I love advent. Even when I am a complaining Grinch. :)

]]> By: susan http://patriciazaballos.com/2008/12/05/the-advent-box/comment-page-1/#comment-205 susan Sat, 06 Dec 2008 14:57:17 +0000 http://patriciazaballos.com/?p=622#comment-205 Beautiful box, and lovely idea. You've inspired me to try to give my kids a criticism-free December. A month of catching them in the act of doing good things. Beautiful box, and lovely idea. You’ve inspired me to try to give my kids a criticism-free December. A month of catching them in the act of doing good things.

]]> By: melissa s. http://patriciazaballos.com/2008/12/05/the-advent-box/comment-page-1/#comment-204 melissa s. Fri, 05 Dec 2008 22:49:17 +0000 http://patriciazaballos.com/?p=622#comment-204 I love your advent tradition and your positive outlook. reminds me of 'the power of positive thinking' that i read awhile back. thanks for the reminder to put happiness and light out into the world! have a good weekend! I love your advent tradition and your positive outlook. reminds me of ‘the power of positive thinking’ that i read awhile back. thanks for the reminder to put happiness and light out into the world! have a good weekend!

]]> By: Kathy http://patriciazaballos.com/2008/12/05/the-advent-box/comment-page-1/#comment-203 Kathy Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:10:06 +0000 http://patriciazaballos.com/?p=622#comment-203 Thank you for the link to that book -- I think I could use some more positive acts too! Thank you for the link to that book — I think I could use some more positive acts too!

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