July 2008

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One of Mr. T’s many wii thoughts for today:

“I’m making up my own wii game. It’s a maze game, and it’s in first-person. Wait. Is first-person when you see with the character’s eyes?”

Not bad for a six-year-old. But that’s my boy. Managing to temper the wii talk with a little literary point-of-view so his mama doesn’t feel so guilty. Next time he makes up a game for the wii, maybe I’ll ask him to consider third-person omniscient.

I post this photo of our sunflower-house-in-progress* to mollify My Waldorf Guilt.

Long ago–so long ago–when H was a bald baby with a big head, I read about Waldorf. There were so many things I loved about Waldorf education–the focus on play, and handiwork, and the ebb and flow of the seasons. The way it values the imagination. As a former public school teacher, I had questions too–methods of learning for older kids seemed somewhat unprogressive; technology seemed to have no place in the curriculum.

As I made our home a learning place when the kids were young, I included lots of Waldorf-ish things–wooden toys, instruments, garden tools, book with fairies and princes, and copious, copious craft supplies. But somehow other things managed to sneak in through the backdoor, things like computers and (shudder) gaming systems. 

And that’s when this little creature I call My Waldorf Guilt began to sit on my shoulder and taunt me, to whisper how much I have failed.

Lots of items call forth My Waldorf Guilt. The storytelling book in the hallway that I was sure would transform me into a great storyteller—though I have yet to tell my kids a single story. The wooden kitchen that gathers dust in Mr. T’s room, the one that once found its way into so many of H and Lulu’s games, but sits waiting for me to “play restaurant” with my boy. The space on the counter that would be such a lovely place to display seasonal treasures—but instead has become a repository for laptops and iPods and all their requisite cords.

The computers have been an issue since H was three and my parents bought him a Richard Scarry computer game. H would gladly have spent hours maneuvering Huckle around Busytown if I would have let him. But I didn’t let him. I went on to spend years monitoring his computer use—trying to limit the time spent in passive entertainment, to give free reign when the computer was used as a tool. My Waldorf Guilt nagged at me when he played too much Age of Empires; I told it to shut up when H used the computer to write stories, to record music, to make movies.

Almost all H’s creativity is connected to the computer these days. He’s taught himself to podcast, to record soundtracks for his films, to use professional film editing software. I’m glad I listened when he argued for more computer time; sometimes kids know what they need.

But I’m sure kids don’t need gaming systems. I’ve stayed stubborn on that one for years. But this past spring the kids wore me down after they played on a Wii at a neighbor’s house. They needed one. They would pay for it themselves, they insisted. They would be moving when they played, instead of sitting at a computer! It would be a fun thing for the family to do together! Something H could do with his brother, ten years younger! And knowing their mother, they promised to monitor their time.

I caved. And My Waldorf Guilt screamed in my ear.

I’m not so concerned about the Wii for my sixteen and twelve-year-old. But having my six-year-old grow up with a gaming system puts My Waldorf Guilt on overdrive.

Still, I want to listen to my kids. If they’re willing to work with me and all my limits, I need to work with them.

And the Wii hasn’t been so bad. After an initial week or so of gorging on gaming, their play has been reasonable. But the one thing that still gets My Waldorf Guilt hollering is that the stories Mr. T tells are now filled with characters named Mario and Luigi.

Sigh.

I argue back at My Waldorf Guilt, taking on the role that H has always taken with me: Mr. T’s characters may be named Mario and Luigi, but the stories are all Mr. T’s. Pure, unrestrained, stream-of-conciousness imagination. And quite honestly, the stories themselves would no different, even if the characters had Waldorf-y names, like Little Pip Acorn or King Beetle-Tamer.

Oh, My Waldorf Guilt. Surely the saga will continue.

 

* The sunflower house is “built” by planting sunflower seeds in a rectangle–don’t forget to leave a door! At the same time, sow morning glory seeds around the sunflower perimeter. As the plants grow, thin the sunflowers to about 2 feet apart. The sunflowers will grow up; the morning glories will wrap around them. When the sunflowers are near maturity and the vines are reaching their heads, wind twine back and forth, from one sunflower head to another, spider web-style, and form a roof. The morning glories should crawl across the twine, forming a glorious roof of green and morning-glory-violet. I’ll post photos if ours works. Here’s where we learned how to do it.

Last week I had a five days with all three kids enrolled in various day camps, and me at home alone, able to write for uninterrupted hours on end. Such time alone is rare for a homeschooling parent, as I’m sure you can imagine. It has happened precisely three times in my life as a mother–once last summer and twice (gasp!) this summer.

As you can see from the post title, this was a week to be used, ostensibly, for writing. And I did some of that. I revised an essay about traveling with our kids in Spain, for the zillionth time, and sent it out for a third ride on the rejection merry-go-round. I started a new essay on the self-imposed sanity that I’m calling “homeschooling my MFA”. But what I did, mostly, was get this blog up and running.

Which should have been a simple task, if I had simply gone to wordpress.com and chosen one of their hosted, pre-designed blogs. But no-o-o. I had to decide to design and host my own blog, with my own website and my own server. Why? Because I fixate on superficial things like page layout and font colors.

I’m not sure I would have done it if I’d realized that my learning curve would be as steep as a black diamond ski run. I started this project in April, for heaven’s sake. But this book helped. As did my belief that you can learn anything if you’re tenacious enough to dig through help files and support forums.

I learned a bunch of terms that a few months ago would have made as much sense to me as Swedish. I learned how to edit a CSS style sheet with the proper HTML code on my MySQL database so I could upload it via FTP and then drag it to the theme files of my content folder. I’m astounded that that sentence makes sense to me; even more astounded that I was actually able to do it. And that was simply what it took to make my links appear this particular shade of green.

I’m just glad that you and my kids weren’t here last Wednesday to see me swearing and crying when I tried to upgrade to the newest version of Wordpress, and found myself in the deep end of the pool with the water far over my head. I lost everything and had to start from scratch. But I’ll know how to upgrade next time!

So I didn’t get a lot of writing done last week, but I got this thing up and running. And I think I learned enough to impress my 16-year-old. Maybe.

It feels so good to teach yourself something. It’s one of the best parts of homeschooling. And it isn’t just for the kids.

Mr. T helps with the Wonder Farm banner

 

Last year, as I filled out our Private School Affidavit for the California’s Department of Education-the form that allows California homeschoolers to function as small, private schools–I came across a line in the document and realized that our “school” would need a name. I asked the kids what they thought we should call it.

I don’t remember the first names tossed around the kitchen, but I do remember the moment H came up with this one:

“Genius Farm!” he called out, with the enthusiasm of a contestant on Name That Tune. “Genius Farm! That’s it! It’s awesome!”

Well…it was funny, I admitted. I liked the image of a farm where geniuses are grown like stalks of Brussels sprouts. I liked the irreverent sass of it. “But this website says homeschoolers should avoid names that are “cutesy”. And I’m not sure we want to have Genius Farm at the top of your transcript when you apply to college.”

By this point, all three kids were chanting aloud, “Genius Farm! Genius Farm!” overpowering, as usual, my objections.

Okay, okay. I assured them that we could refer to our home as the Genius Farm all we wanted, but I needed to come up with something else for the form.

The kids’ minds were made up; I finished the form myself. I filled the “school name” cell with The Workshop instead. I hoped the title might be respectable, but still a little quirky, conveying a place where projects are being undertaken, where things–and ideas–are being created. Still, I don’t like the name nearly as much as Genius Farm.

Not that my kids are geniuses. Well, they are geniuses, in their own idiosyncratic ways, as I think every child is. But they haven’t been raised on flashcards and IQ tests and advanced classes for the gifted. We aren’t really trying to raise geniuses around here.

I like the farm part of the name, though, the idea of a metaphorical place where a family can grow something abstract, intangible. I mused: if I could cultivate anything in our home, in our life as homeschoolers, what would it be? Creativity? Curiosity?

Wonder.

I love the word wonder. It’s a noun as well as a verb. It can mean a miracle, a phenomenon or a state of amazement. It can be the act of marveling or questioning. A wonder is a journey of the mind, lasting maybe a minute, maybe a lifetime.

I hope I help cultivate wonder in my kids. I’d like them look at the world around them and be both awed and confounded, and utterly compelled to know more. And if nothing else, just watching my kids learn and grow prompts a lot of wonder in me.

So while I didn’t put Wonder Farm on that Private School Affidavit, I am putting it at the top of this blog. It isn’t quite a Genius Farm, but I think it will do.